Olives – excellent snacks

Olives are real good, but first let’s set the scene. You’ve got some friends coming over and you need to fill their stomachs a bit while you complete the main deal. You don’t want to do just crisps again, but you’re not fucked enough for full on starters or salmon disc things. Well why not swing down the middle and get some olives and pimp them up? Chuck these Italian green balls in a bowl with the obligatory tooth picks and you got yourself an antipasti. Also they are well good, so maybe just make then and pig out watching snoop dogg narrate planet earth or some other aesthetically pleasing stuff.


What you need.

  • Jar of olives
  • Olive oil
  • 1 lemon
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 1 red chilli
  • Pepper
  • Salt
  • Parsley


Get the jar of olives and pour them out into a colander, you don’t need their bath water u just want the olives.

In a bowl add the olives and pour over a good glug of olive oil, a finely sliced/ crushed garlic and the chopped chilli.

Squeeze over the juice of about half a lemon and add some pepper and salt. Taste to see if you need any more of what you have already added.

When you get it tasting A-okay then add some chopped parsley and taste again. Now you serve with toothpicks, or you can just use your hands if you are badass or a filthy animal. Raw garlic, raw chilli and olive oil is not a good idea when thinking about keeping so make just enough to munch your way through. Raw garlic and chilli might grow botulism bacteria in olive oil and that can actually kill you so might as well pig out and eat them all in one go.

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